Some Rules That Can Help You In Life, Some Commons Sense Lah!

Hi alls  👋

For today tips of life, I want to share some social rules that can help you lives better and makes people around you please and happy with you existents, some people called it, common sense?

1. Don’t call someone more than twice continuously. If they don’t pick up your call, presume they have something important to attend to. 

As and intovert, I really hate someone spamming me. Hey can you just type what happen if that’s an urgent? What’s the purpose of having whatsapp. 🥲

2. Return money that you have borrowed even before the person that borrowed you remember or ask for it. It shows your integrity and character. Same goes with umbrellas, pens and lunch boxes. 

I have this one friend, all my belongings are still with her, but she never return. Last month she come to me, first to ask for my update. Chatting for a few weeks, changing pictures, then she asked to borrow money. Because she’s the only friend that still keep in touch with me from my uni. I lend her some. Not once, not twice, but few times and never return. Now, we’re stranger again.

3. Never order the expensive dish on the menu when someone is giving you a lunch/dinner. 

4. Don’t ask awkward questions like ‘Oh so you aren’t married yet?’ Or ‘ Don’t you have kids’ or ‘Why didn’t you buy a house?’ Or why don't you buy a car? For God’s sake it isn’t your problem. 

As I grown up, I just don’t care and don’t mind anymore with this kind of questions. But not everyone will accept this question, so please mind your words. Better silent or just keep quiet when you have anything nice to say. 🤫

5. Always open the door for the person coming behind you. It doesn’t matter if it is a guy or a girl, senior or junior. You don’t grow small by treating someone well in public. 

6. If you take a taxi with a friend and he/she pays now, try paying next time. Not only for accommodation, but in everything. Whenever someone’s use their money first. You should have a common sense to repay it back next time, even they not asking for it.

7. Respect different shades of opinions. Remember what's 6 to you will appear 9 to someone facing you. Besides, second opinion is good for an alternative.

8. Never interrupt people talking. Allow them to pour it out. As they say, hear them all and filter them all.

9. If you tease someone, and they don’t seem to enjoy it, stop it and never do it again. It encourages one to do more and it shows how appreciative you're.

10. Say “thank you” when someone is helping you. I guess it’s a basic? 

11. Praise publicly. Criticize privately. 

12. There’s almost never a reason to comment on someone’s weight. Just say, “You look fantastic.” If they want to talk about losing weight, they will.

13. When someone shows you a photo on their phone, don’t swipe left or right. You never know what’s next!

14. If a colleague tells you they have a doctors' appointment, don’t ask what it’s for, just say "I hope you’re okay". Don’t put them in the uncomfortable position of having to tell you their personal illness. If they want you to know, they'll do so without your inquisitiveness;

15. Treat the cleaner with the same respect as the CEO. Nobody is impressed at how rude you can treat someone below you but people will notice if you treat them with respect;

16. If a person is speaking directly to you, staring at your phone is rude! Except if it’s flirting. But flirting that can make you comfortable is some sort of harassment. You need to defend yourself!

17. Never give advice until you’re asked. But you’re always welcome to be someone’s listener.

18. When meeting someone after a long time, unless they want to talk about it, don’t ask them their age and salary.

19. Mind your business unless anything involves you directly - just stay out of it. And please don’t assume that everything around need to be involve with you. Sometimes it has nothing to do with you. You overthink that people try to isolate you but it’s just your overthink. Please just mind your own business.

20. Remove your sunglasses if you are talking to anyone in the street. It is a sign of respect. More so, eye contact is as important as your speech.

21. Never talk about your riches in the midst of the poor. Similarly, don't talk about your children in the midst of the barren. Harsh words will permanently in the heart of the listeners, even after you apologise, you will never erase the hurt. Stay humble in words and actions. 

22. After reading a good message try to say "Thanks for the message". You might just made someone’s day for the reply. ❤️

APPRECIATION remains the easiest way of getting what you don't have....

-aisya

YOU AND I WILL BE OKAY 🌻

While everyone is living their dreams, here i am, silently, praying to the stars to grant even just one wish for me. Sometimes i couldn't help but envy other people of how they seem to have everything in their favour, how they manage to pull-through anything gracefully, even under life's constant pressure. 

With everything that has been going on, there are moments in my life that I don't even know what to do. I feel like beautiful days are just there around the corner - it's looming, it's somewhere, it's near yet still so far out of reach.

There are moments I break down in the middle of all the waiting, exhaustion, the frustrations, and the disappointment my heart is battling with. I try hard to hold back but amidst all the chaos in my head and the thousand emotions I am feeling, sometimes, I can't help losing myself in tears.

On days like this i know i have left out myself so much. On days like this I have to remind myself that it's alright to feel upset and sad. It's alright to break down and cry. That it's alright to feel pain when everything seems too heavy to bear and too hard to accept. Yet, I believe everyone goes through hard times just as i know this phase in my life won't last. 

If you and I are on the same boat, let's not lose our grip on having better days when life throws us lemons. Let's roll with the punches and continue surf with the waves. It's gonna be hard but as long as there are stars in the sky, we get to have unlimited wishes and chances for a life as promising as a beautiful sunrise every morning. 

I hope you don't give up life for having bad days. Like they always say, it's just a bad day, not a bad life. Let's take a breather today. It'll pass and little by little, we'll be okay. You and I will be okay.

-aa

Just a short thought of - Goodbye Again by Jonny Sun

 

Idk why I feel a bit triggered on this page. 

I just want to said be careful with books like this. Not to be a downer, but this seems to glorify dogging on yourself for supposedly being worthless, and you do matter to someone, and will be missed when you are gone from this earth. 🌼

Of course it is true that life does go on. This is true because the world existed with or without us. Always has, always been and always will be. but I do believe we all make an impact probably greater than we realize. As a student, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a lover, volunteer and doing my best each day… I can’t imagine any one person not leaving a hole in someone’s heart when they go. I would have to argue that we all leave an impact in some way from the things we have said and done in our lives and that has a ripple effect.

It made me feel like we should relax on putting so much pressure on ourselves to be great or perfect. In the long run, we should just love ourselves the way we are, because the size of the hole that we leave will not change in relation to how “great” we are.

The book is called Goodbye Again by Jonny Sun🤍

Please don't trust in Psedopsychology or NLP. It's sick! :(

I can't believe nowadays this pseudopsychology content gain more likes and supportive comments from the audiences in social media.

Pseudo means false, and it's a pseudoscience. As you know in science we do have an examination, an experiment, an observation and so many steps to be make to prove the truth of some information whether its scientifically proven or not. The data need to analyse for many people,using a reliability test or instrumen before the data can be use to the community. Yes. That's psychology. 

But this isn't science. Its effect doesn't go beyond the Barnum effect. Psychology results are significant, those aren't. Double blinded tests were done.

You're free to believe. But like alchemy or homeopathy, it's not a science.

Siap ada hastag "tiktok guru" "personalities check"

Penat kami belajar psychology bertahun tapi end up content macam ni yang awak cari. Cubit nak🤏

Let's normalise not normalising pseudopsychology.

Show that you are are influenced by evidence & not influenced by influencers.

I find it amusing how some people think psychology is just common sense but yet go around spouting pseudopsychology.

There’s a reason why psychology is needed. The research within the field debunks so many pseudoscience myths that are disguised as “common sense”.

All that pseudopsychology like horoscopes, mediums, psychics, siblings theory and etc please don't play with that. Also if you're watching things like "Psychologist once said", " Psychology Facts" you need to be careful with it. So, stop spreading pseudopsychology, every individual comes different with its own skills and weaknesses.

So please please please don't trust anything you see on social media especially related to your mentally and physically. 🦋

Should we normalise a mental health excuse?

I just saw a post and I'd like to elaborate further about my thoughts on this.

I agree but dont. I DON'T want it normalized to the point where that's your every little excuse for stuff. Or people who are simply stressed over a test now think they have a whole anxiety disorder. I don't want it overplayed and taken as a 'cool new trend'.

We should want people to be more open to talk about their thoughts, feelings and emotions 100%, what we don't want is to further medicalize and pathologize our feelings, actions, and emotions. We don't want children to believe they are "mentally ill" and attempt to label their thoughts and feelings based on predetermined and arbitrary clusters of disorders that are still debated in the field of psychology.

What you're actually requesting is that mental ILL health should be normalized. Sure, people should be able to talk about their mental problems and difficulties. But the illness paradigm is often very misleading and unhelpful. 

This is not to say the psychological phenomena of depression does not exist, for example, but simply to critique calling it a disorder or illness and by extension assuming it is biological in nature. 

This is just my 2 cents as a psychology student that isn't too keen on the language of the "mental illness" pop culture movement. 

I'm so sorry to post this heavy topic in here. What do you think?